Ball Four

There are some players who are still, at this moment, off on their camping trip. Can't give you specifics, because we don't know who they are. We are looking to have a report posted, on this very blog, by someone who is there. Keep your fingers crossed..

In the meantime, as we don't have a game for another 9 days, (and hopefully a practice in two days, right guys???) we will plug a favorite book of ours. It's called Ball Four and it is written by Jim Bouton.. The book is divided into days, journal-style, and we will start off by randomly selecting one day and reproducing it here for you. Depending on the popularity of it, as expressed in the comments, there may be more in the future. Or you could just buy the book. It's really good. You may think we're worried about getting sued by Jim Bouton for reproducing Jim Bouton's work without receiving expressed written consent from Jim Bouton. We're not. We'd be flattered if we knew that he knew about this inconsequential little blog of ours. Besides, by suggesting that you buy the book, we're actually helping him. Instead of suing us he should be giving us money. Heaps and heaps of money. It's not like he doesn't have heaps and heaps of money lying around, being a former major leaguer and a published author and all. But really Jim, what have you done for us lately? Okay, now he might sue us..

Here's the first excerpt:

March 22

There was a notice on the bulletin board asking guys to sign up to have their cars driven to Seattle. Price $150. The drivers are college kids. I think I'd prefer Bonnie and Clyde. I say this because I remember college and how I drove an automobile in those days and I would not have hired me to drive my car. Still, a lot of guys put their names on the list - very tentatively.

Baseball players' words to a beautifully tender song (Actually Overheard in the Clubhouse Division): "Summertime, and your mother is easy."

Steve Hovley was dancing to a tune on the radio and somebody yelled, "Hove, dancing is just not your thing."
"Do you mind if I decide what my thing is?" Hovley said.
So I asked him what his thing was. "I like sensual things," he said. "Eating, sleeping. I like showers and I like flowers and I like riding my bike."
"You have a bike with you?"
"Certainly. I rent one. And I ride past a field of sheep on the way to the park every day and a field of alfalfa, and sometimes I get off my bike and lie down on it. A field of alfalfa is a great place to lie down and look up at the sky."
I sure wish Hovley would make the team.

When I got to the ballpark this morning I ran into Frank Kimball, one of the young catchers. He was standing under the eavesin order to keep out of the pelting rain, his soggy equipment bag beside him. I knew, but I asked anyway. "What's up?"
"I just got sent down."
"Too bad. When did you find out?"
"They did it chickenshit. They told me in the office when I went to get my paycheck."
"You mean Joe [Schultz] didn't tell you?"
"No. And when I went back to him to ask him what the story was he said he was sorry, he forgot to tell me."
Eccch.

I haven't been pitching very well and I think that as a result my sideburns are getting shorter. Also, instead of calling Joe Schultz Joe I'm calling him Skip, which is what I called Ralph Houk when I first came up. Managers like to be called Skip.

I'm scheduled to pitch in the doubleheader they have scheduled tomorrow. I'll be at Scottsdale to pitch against the Cubs and a good outing by me could clinch a spot on the staff - maybe. What I've got to concentrate on this time is control and throwing other pitches beside the knuckleball. Whatever [pitching coach] Sal Maglie says, Jim Bouton does. I'll impress the hell out of him with my curve and fastball and I'll just use the knuckler to get them out.

End of excerpt.

During the course of writing that out, we decided that there will be no more excerpts. We strongly recommend buying this book. Or checking it out of the library. Or borrowing from a friend.