Q+A with Rob Aubertin

Clubhouse Chatter: Who is your favorite baseball player of all-time, and why?

Rob Aubertin: Willie Mays, because he was a centrefielder extraordinaire

CC: What's the first music album you ever bought?

RA: I don't know how I got the MC Hammer U Can't Touch This tape, and I KNOW the New Kids tape was a gift (thanks "friend"), so it was probably Contact, a collection of pseudo-hockey songs.

CC: What's the most recent music album you bought?

RA: Smart Kid by the Clumsy Lovers. Good clean fun.

CC: Do you have any baseball superstitions?

RA: I always have to wear the same helmet while hitting. Chris better not have it.

CC: What is your favorite baseball movie?

RA: Does "A League of Their Own" count? Tom Hanks was very funny. Or does it have to be men playing baseball? Fine, Major League.

CC: You have $20. It's the last $20 you can ever spend. How do you spend it?

RA: Mmmmmmmmm pizza.

CC: Besides baseball, what is your favorite sport to play?

RA: Tennis anyone?

CC: There's a movie about your life. What's the title and who plays you?

RA: Lucky to be Good, starring Tobey Maguire

CC: What is your most embarrassing baseball moment?

RA: Two seasons ago, in the only game that my parents and brother attended, I struck out in my first at-bat. Walking to the dugout I turned my head and said something stupid to the ump. I got ejected for the first, and only, time of my life. "Thanks for coming to see me play, guys!"

CC: What was the best vacation you've ever been on?

RA: Last summer. Spent a week at a cabin in upstate New York, kayaking, tubing, eating ice cream at Martha's, and watching fantastic lightning & thunder storms that knocked out power. Relaxing. Then spent a night in Boston, watching the Sox beat the Jays at Fenway. Magical. Then spent a week in New York City, seeing the essentials and having a blast one night at a certain comedy club, 30 comics in 4 hours for 5 bucks. Hilarious.

CC: We want to read a good book, what should we read and why?

RA: Right now I'm reading Spadework by Timothy Findley. I recommend most of Douglas Coupland's work. Try his Polaroids from the Dead.

CC: What is your proudest baseball moment?

RA: There hasn't really been any one standout moment. Let's go with my two career home runs, both at Tamanawis of course.

CC: Any words of advice for the thousands of young fans who dream of one day playing for the mighty Surrey Indians?

RA: Don't lose focus. You can change what you focus on, but don't lose focus.

CC: Tell us a good joke. Keep it clean.

RA: A guy is in a bar sipping beer and munching on peanuts. All of a sudden, he hears a tiny voice say "nice tie." He looks around and sees no one close. The bartender is at the other end of the bar on the phone. So he goes back to sipping his beer and munching his peanuts. A minute later, he hears a tiny voice say "good haircut." He looks around and still sees no one close. A few minutes later, the tiny voice says "you're handsome." At this point, he calls the bartender over and tells him he's heard these voices saying nice things to him. The bartender says, "Yeah, those are the peanuts. They're complimentary."

August 11 2005

We have decided something that should have most definitely been decided many many weeks ago. We are not driving all the way to Tamanawis, a lengthy rush-hour commute, to stand around in a parking lot with two other guys hoping that at least one more guy shows up so then maybe we can at least, you know, play american ping-pong or something to make use of this 6:30pm Thursday practice that almost everyone, after the last game, said that they could make. With gas reaching a buck ten plus, it's a frickin' slap to the frickin' face, and from now on we are only making a frickin' baseball related drive if it's a frickin' gameday. Should have decided this in April when it would've saved us a shipload of cash. Frick.

Rumor has it that Rod and Raub got together earlier today with a couple of friends and played american ping-pong on a field next to the Nat. Rumor has it that it was a lot of fun. Rumor has it that there might be a Vancouver team in the league next season. Rumor has it that if there is, Rod and Raub will be playing for their hometown next season.

Q+A with Clay Edger

Clubhouse Chatter: What's the first music album you ever bought?

Clay Edger: That would have to be the Godzilla soundrack

CC: What's the most recent music album you bought?

CE: The newest K-os CD

CC: What is your most embarrassing baseball moment?

CE: I got called up to play for the premier team a couple of times and every time I went up to bat I struck out, like 8 times in a row. (and they were all pretty damn ugly)

CC: You have $20. It's the last $20 you can ever spend. How do you spend it?

CE: I'm gonna have to go with beer and porn on that one. Good question though, a lot of thought went into my answer... I'm serious.

CC: Who is your favorite baseball player of all-time, and why?

CE: Ken Griffey Jr., because he gets paid millions to sit on his ass since he's always injured... and when he does play, he's actually pretty good considering he's been injured for a long time.

CC: What is your favorite baseball movie?

CE: The Bad news Bears with billy bob. that's just right now though, i just saw it last night.

CC: Besides baseball, what is your favorite sport to play?

CE: there's nothin better than riding fresh powder on a snowboard

CC: There's a movie about your life. What's the title and who plays you?

CE: the title would probably be " life of a rockstar" and tommy chong would play me.

CC: Do you have any baseball superstitions?

CE: well I'm not sure if it's superstitious but I don't wash my uniform... oh and I rock out to music before every game with my jockstrap on my head. but I don't know if you could really call that superstitious. I have one serious superstition and it is that I always have to be standing in level/fresh dirt. before I step into the box I have to adjust the dirt and fill in the holes, and the same as when I'm catching.

CC: What was the best vacation you've ever been on?

CE: Edmonton trip last summer. drove an '89 POS up there overnight and stayed with another couple in a room. the chick was really hot. won big at the casino and got totally pissed the entire time. all I remember was that it was fun.

CC: We want to read a good book, what should we read and why?

CE: Jerry Seinfeld's "Sign language". it's the only book I've actually read cover to cover... ever.

CC: What is your proudest baseball moment?

CE: signing autographs at the nationals and world series. or maybe when a whalley local was hitting on me... one of the two.

CC: Any words of advice for the thousands of young fans who dream of one day playing for the mighty Surrey Indians?

CE: as long as you walk up to the plate like you're bringing a footlong with you, you'll be fine... and you're halfway to being able to play on the team.

CC: Tell us a good joke. Keep it clean.

CE: so this giraffe and this elephant are walking down the road one day... oh wait that's a dirty one. okay okay, so there's this priest right, and he's walking with this nun and she says to him she says... wait a sec that one is definately very dirty. okay so there's these two girls at a bar, and all of a sudden they just start making out, full on clothes ripping off and everything. so the bartender goes.... wait no, that joke is too long, sorry guys I got nothing.

CC: The end. Please reply back ASAP. If for any reason you do not wish to answer any of the questions, just skip it. If you do not wish to answer any of the questions, please let us know ASAP. Thanks.

CE: I did not wish to answer the question "what time of day do you shower and what's your address?" I just thought that was kinda weird and uncalled for.

August 9 2005

Greetings earthlings,

We come in peace and would like it known that the Surrey Indians play their first playoff game this coming Sunday at 11am at Whalley. In addition to your seat cushions, please bring a glove, as you may be called upon to field a position on the field. You see, it seems as though a couple of players are unavailable to play in this game, so we are hoping everyone else will be present to avoid a forfeit to the lowly Playaz or Rockies. It is single elimination from here on out and being knocked out by either of those teams, even by forfeit, would be an embarrassment no one could possibly overcome. If that does happen, the Surrey Indians will spontaneously combust. Sad, but true.

Now then, after our game on Sunday June 4th, seven league games into the season, there were only three Indians who had a batting average above .211 - Today, there are eight players batting above .270, with our team batting average of .317 looking pretty solid. It would be nice to compare our stats with the stats of other teams, but the subjective scoring by different teams doesn't make that possible. We are interested in the idea of hiring official scorers for all league games. That way, the league could compile league leaders in stats such as batting average, on-base average, home runs, stolen bases, and team batting average versus lefties during Sunday afternoon games after a rainy Saturday. Write your congresspeople, let's make this idea a reality!

At first glance at the standings it seems as though we played pretty shabby this season. While that is hard to disprove, let us try. Take a look at the total points. We are just one point behind the Royals and the Sabres, and two points behind the Rangers, who sit in fourth place. (a win = 2 points, a tie = 1 point) Those thousands of games where we had a substantial lead only to lose the game in the later innings? We hate to play "what if", but what if? We should note that not all teams played the same amount of games. At 14 games played, we equalled the Rangers, played one less than the Royals and played one more than the Sabres. It would've been nice to have finished in the top half of the league, which we could've and should've, but on the bright side, maybe we can expect to have pitches slow-pitched to us.. Although if teams have been scouting us near the end of the season, that is unlikely.

We have a practice at Tamanawis on Thursday (me thinks..), and then Sunday we play the biggest game of our lives.. Come out and watch, and don't forget your glove.

Q+A with Shane Meister

Clubhouse Chatter: What is your favorite baseball movie?

Shane Meister: That's easy Major league

CC: There's a movie about your life. What's the title and who plays you?

SM: That's a tough one... I don't have a clue

CC: What's the first music album you ever bought?

SM: hmmmmm I think the rocky 2 soundtrack when I was 8 or 9 years old

CC: What's the most recent music album you bought?

SM: actually I download all my music

CC: What is your most embarrassing baseball moment?

SM: can't say this is for all ages ;)

CC: We want to read a good book, what should we read and why?

SM: A BRIEF HISTORY OF TIME by Stephen Hawking. It is an amazing look at the universe based on studies from some of the greatest scientific minds

CC: What was the best vacation you've ever been on?

SM: Palm springs, went with my dad we played two rounds of golf every day we were there :)

CC: Who is your favorite baseball player of all-time, and why?

SM: Well its kind of silly but when I think of cool moments that I witnessed in baseball Carter hitting the home run to win the series for the blue jays stands out allot

CC: You have $20. It's the last $20 you can ever spend. How do you spend it?

SM: I would probably order pizza

CC: What is your proudest baseball moment?

SM: Well recently it would have to be our last game of the season I hit 4 for 4 and caught 2 fly's in field. Its not the kind of play movies are made of but... If you have seen me bat this year you would understand hahahah.

CC: Tell us a good joke. Keep it clean.

SM: Q. What did the zero say to the eight?
A. Nice belt!

August 3 2005

Where was all this hitting at the start of the season? Just a few games ago we were shutout, shutout, and now 15 runs last game and 16 runs this game, with 21 and 26 hits respectively. That, my friends, is called a breakout. Some people (like the rest of the league) might call it an anomaly, but we prefer to call the first 90% of the season an anomaly.. The last two games is how things should be.

The most noteworthy item of note in this 16-7 victory over the Phillies: Shane's four-for-four performance. Who is this guy? Struggling at the plate in his first few games of the season, then MIA for the next few games of the season, he shows up to Poker Night and announces, while giving away money, that he's going five-for-five on Wednesday. He then shows up and promptly follows through. That RBI-triple? Sa-weeeeeeeeeeeet. The rest of us failed him in his quest, giving him just four at-bats. There is no doubt he would've come through in his fifth at-bat. Nicely done S-meister, nicely done.

The Edge's were at it again. Cedge set the tone early, driving a single to lead off the bottom of the first, then scoring on Raubert's single to left. But it was later in the game where the action picked up. In the seventh, Cedge drove a fastball over the centrefielder's head and legged out a triple. Two batters later, Redge lined one down the left field line and, yes, legged out a triple. Cedge was mighty proud of his sister.

Chris was in fine form on the mound. The Phillies were either behind on his fastball or flailing at his curveball. He could do no wrong! The hits they did get were dinky little bloopers that had no right being hits. Enrique then came in and closed out the game in good fashion, picking up what we believe to be his first legitimate save of the season.

With Shane leading the way with four hits, four players had three hits apiece, and five players had two hits apiece. Everyone had at least two hits. That is outstanding. Three players had three RBIs apiece. With Cedge leading the way with four runs scored, everyone had at least one run scored. That is outstanding. You could probably spend all day analyzing the fascinating stats from yesterday's game, but don't. Go swimming or something instead. We recommend New Brighton Pool. Twas really really nice there today.

We would like it known that Enrique's wife Jas helped us out after the game, carrying some heavy gear to the car. Also, Sandra would like it known that when she told the score to Scott, it really was 10-5. Two runs were scored right after that. Got that Kel? By the way, Kel was very benevolent. He went three-for-three then pulled himself, rather than anyone else, to get Enrique into the game. Kudos.

Enrique was spotted taking some photos at the game. The photos are now viewable by clicking here. Since there are shots of Enrique batting, we're guessing that someone else took some shots too. Or maybe something really magical is taking place at Whalley Stadium.

Q+A with Brad Cumiskey

Clubhouse Chatter: Who is your favorite baseball player of all-time, and why?

Brad Cumiskey: Rafael Palmeiro – How can a 3000 Hit, 500 Home Run, Viagra Popping, Viagra Touting, Stud like Rafi be under rated? People just don’t give him the respect he deserves. Take the U.S. congress for instance, what guile that organization must have to march Rafi up to Washington and accuse him of taking Steroids, essentially forcing him to point his finger at those men and declare in a forceful, low tone: “I have never taken steroids, ever, period.”

CC: There's a movie about your life. What's the title and who plays you?

BC: ‘From the Streetz’ – myself played by Eric Stoltz. Eric is one of Hollywood’s finest ginger haired actors, able to play a litany of characters. Including, my life story, about a Canadian suburban gangster, who’s had a hard life, and has a hard edge. Of note: Street is spelled with a ‘Z’ at the end to enforce the gangsterness of the source material, much like the Langley Playaz of the LMBA.

CC: Do you have any baseball superstitions?

BC: I like to visualize getting a hit prior to stepping in the box each and every time. Because, as you know, 90% of the game is half mental.

CC: What is your most embarrassing baseball moment?

BC: One year in midget ball, I was back catching a fireballer, and with a base runner on first I was primed to gun that b#@tch down. The pitch comes in, I wiff on the ball and it strikes me square in the mask; and the ball lodges itself in my mask between my eyes. I let out a highly feminine yelp, scramble around a bit trying my darndest to get the ball out of the mask. I finally get the ball out, just as the runner strolls into third base for a two base steal. Brilliant Brad.

CC: We want to read a good book, what should we read and why?

BC: No jokes on this one, 5 great books I’ve read recently:
Guns, Germs & Steel. (Jared Diamond) – Non-fiction, it explains the history of Human progress. Amazing. Winner of the Pulitzer Prize.
Da Vinci’s Code. (Dan Brown) – Fiction. The church is mean to girls.
Into Thin Air. (John Krakauer) – Non-Fiction. An incredible story of climbing Mount Everest in the spring of 1996.
Live From New York (Various) – Non-Fiction. Numerous accounts of Writers and Actors working for Saturday Night Live.
Super System II (Doyle Brunson) – Non-Fiction. How to make money without really trying.

CC: What was the best vacation you've ever been on?

BC: Cancun, MEX. There is a video, go to my boy Riaz’s site, and download the fun:http://www.riazmeghji.com/Downloads/rm%20online%20-%20Downloads.htm

CC: What is your favorite baseball movie?

BC: Gonna have to go with ‘The Sandlot’, when that kid fakes a drowning in order to get mouth-to-mouth from the life guard — whooo weee.

CC: What's the first music album you ever bought?

BC: Mini-Pops Sing the Hitz. (with a ‘Z’)

CC: What's the most recent music album you bought?

BC: Nowadays, I only download music and mostly listen to AM sports talk radio. McKeechie is singularly the worst talk radio personality ever and Jim Rome rules, hang up clones.

CC: You have $20. It's the last $20 you can ever spend. How do you spend it?

BC: A 50 pack, the thin variety. “It feels like you're not wearing one.”

CC: Tell us a good joke. Keep it clean.

BC: Q. What did the porcupine say to the cactus?
A. "Are you my mommy?"